Oh, boy! We’re back with another episode of KT’s Wicked Tuna Recap. If you’re new to this, I have no idea how to fish, so I figured recapping this show would be an eye-opening look into the fishing industry. Mostly, though, I’ve learned it just involves a lot of yelling.
On this episode, the narrator tells us there’s only three weeks left to fish, so the yelling will probably get more intense. I mean, he doesn’t say that second part, I just assume it.
Over on HebertBoat (Are we down with calling it Hebort? I want to be), they hook a fish but the shifter cable that lets them drive the boat from outside breaks, so they have to drive from inside. If you guessed this involved more yelling than usual, you’d be right! They get a big fish and then in true fashion, post pictures all over the internet (#fishselfie) Dave C from the Tuna.com is all “that’s poor Captaining!” which I would normally say isn’t a word but I’d totally use that word, so carry on.
RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING TUNAPHONE
Hot Tuna is out at night catching herring, which hasn’t really been explained to me before but now makes sense. Also, every time they catch a herring and accidentally drop it on the deck, the rottweiler eats it. The Hot Tuna is edging into “KT’s Fave Boat” category over the Pinwheel just because of the cute dog alone. They get a random late-night bite (do Tunas have fourthmeal?) and it ends up being a thresher shark, which I guess are the shitbags of the sea, since they can injure you pretty bad and whatnot. The Hot Tuna Doods screech wildly and flail their arms in response, and the dog bravely goes to investigate and almost gets walloped in the process.
Ryan, deckhand of the Hot Tuna, explains that he won’t eat the caught shark. “We have a pact, I don’t eat them, they don’t eat me. So far so good.” GLAD YOU TRUST THEM BROTATO CHIP BUT THEY’D EAT YOU GIVEN THE CHANCE. SHARKS ARE NATURE’S JERKS.
I WON’T EAT YOU! I PROMISE! OKAY I’LL PROBABLY EAT YOU A LITTLE BIT
Hold on to your Marlboro Lights, folks, over on the Hard Merchandise they’ve got a fish! Everyone on this reality show has really upped the scream level in the past few weeks. Now everybody’s just randomly yelling whenever they can, like it’s a 5 year old’s birthday party. THE FISH IS UNDER THE BOAT! LET’S SCREAM! IT’S NO LONGER UNDER THE BOAT! YELL MORE! “We need this fish!” If you’re following along at home, I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to take a shot every time they say they need the fish. Of course, saying that means you don’t get the fish, and they get 99.99% done and then the line breaks. Dang.
Meanwhile, on Hebort, Paul is looking at the woes of the Hard Merchandise through binoculars and laughing manically. Dude, douche move. Pretty sure the sea god is gonna fuck you up for that. Like Poseidon or whoever, I don’t know, I’m a fucking atheist.
The shark that the Hot Tuna caught gets shared with Dave and the Hard Merchandise, because I guess last year one of them caught him right in the nipple, so he wanted his revenge. Nipple revenge. Dave is psyched for the freebie shark steaks. “It’s like the veal cutlet of the sea!” I’ll be sure to get that next time I send visiting elderly family members to the Gloucester House for 4PM Friday dinner.
Reenacting Nipplegate: Ocean Edition.
The Tuna.Com is delighting in the cooking of blueberry pancakes when they get a bite on their line. For the first time in awhile watching this show, I audibly chuckled at three grown men running around on a slippery ship deck while simultaneously trying to hold pancake mix and fish.
Tuna pancakes was my nickname in high school.
They catch the fish, and probably make new pancakes that taste less like floor. The Hot Tuna catches a fish, there’s a ton of yelling and barking, some water, and oh god is this over yet? Oh, it is, but not before a cheesy part where the Heberts show up at Bass Pro Shops in this totally staged advertising bit. Faaaantastic. Time for a beer.
I frankly got tired of this show some time ago. I feel it is staged a lot, I enjoyed that young “kid” from NH who came here and made them all look like idiots only because he worked his tush off, went places alone w o help and beat them all. I frankly get tired of the arrogance of each “Captain” They chose this for Additional income–Tuna Fishing isn’t the sole income for many if not all, they knew the expense involved, the chances they were taking, Plus they are getting residuals from National Geographic. Please, Stop Complaining–
It is always time for a beer!!
Oh my fucking god I am going to so watch this show really soon and only because of these awesome recaps like yeah the shark will eat you a little but but what am I missing here but a SPORT HORSE review of the nuclear bomb that has gone off in the Red Sox Clubhouse.
Lester is gone, Peavy, Lackey, even Steven Drew traded to the Yankees for a bag of balls.
My two cents. WTF! Well it will be interesting to watching the World Series and do the Oakland A’s make it on Lester’s arm? Or does he blow it? It’s either or here, there is no middle ground. Either the A’s and Billie Bean get a World Series ring or Lester is a bum.
And tomorrow when the Yankees come to town who is playing second base fore them? Stephen Drew!!
Johnny Gomes is no longer doing that tip tip tip to his batting helmet for the Red Sox. OCD Anon in New England thanks you Ben Charington.
But wait there’s more. Lackey is going to be pitching for a mere 500K next year for who? I love this stuff.
Does the Hot Tuna even fish anymore? Every time I go to Rocky Neck I see it tied up at the Mad Fish. Meanwhile the Hard Merchandise is NEVER at it’s slip. Dave’s got a family to feed you know!