This is another amazing post from our social media expert and altogether hilarious contributor Brooke Welty.
With the arrival of autumn, tourists are starting to trickle off of the cape and return to their warrens and vast underground lairs to slumber for another year. This can present a problem for some local business owners who rely on tourist dollars to pay the bills.
Aand they’re gone.
With this in mind, some enterprising locals have come up with a plan to lure some of the hardier tourists to the area during the chillier months; Pumpkin Spice.
Pumpkin spice is known to attract several types of people, and the local business council decided, during a recent secret meeting, to take advantage of the seasonal favorite by experimenting liberally with its application to popular tourist food items.
International Sign of Autumn
Local fishermen have had mixed success with the introduction of things like “Pumpkin Spice Dog Fish” and “Pumpkin Spice Flounder.”
“Well,” Said a captain of a local trawler, “Some women in yoga pants tried it and really seemed to love it. They weren’t sure at first what to do, but we packaged it as sushi and they just went to town. Some of the older folks though, they just didn’t get it. Said something about pumpkin spice belonging in coffee. Traditionalists, yah know.”
You can really taste the pumpkin. Also, the swordfish.
When asked what brought them to town now, at the end of the season, one of the women replied “We just love Pumpkin Spice so much. It makes me think of sweaters and leaves!” She paused, taking another bite of her Pumpkin Spice Swordfish, “Pumpkin Spice fish just really says ‘fireplace weather’ to me, and when I heard Gloucester was offering it…well! I had to come.”
Pumpkin Spice is helping about another local business, The Crow’s Nest. The late-night bartender said “Well we got a little thing of the McCormick does a pre-mixed Pumpkin spice blend, so we just started shaking that into the bottom of the glass before we pour the beer. It’s not even just the tourists that drink it up. These guys love it.” She nodded over to a long time customer, a man in his fifties with a graying beard who nodded, lifting his Pumpkin Spice Bud Light in return.
The allure of Pumpkin Spice is sure to breathe new life into winter tourism here in Gloucester.
(Bud Light picture is courtesy of Elite Daily, who are funnier than we are.)
No word of a lie… I have a friend in Boston who manages a seafood trucking company that ships our local stuff nationwide and one of his vendors was late dropping off a shipment two weeks ago because they were “still putting the pumpkin $&#( on the haddock”. Yet again, satire is funny for a reason.
I actually googled Pumpkin Spice Bud Light. Ya got me.
No comment from the less revered Blue Hubbard squash??